Perfect Couple
by JC Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: Duo, fed up with Heero and his lack of ablilities to be a good boyfriend, takes him out to show him how REAL couples act. *humor, yaoi, 2x1, crossover w/a lot of shows*


Perfect Couple  
  
By: JC Maxwell-Yuy  
  
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_  
  
JC: Ah, the perfect couple… who is it?  
  
Solo: More like what? Straight? Yaoi? Yuri? Which people belong together?  
  
JC: That's a mystery. Today we will solve it on… what's the name of this show called again?  
  
Solo: What show? It's just another one of your crazy fics.  
  
JC: (smacks head) Oh yeah!  
  
Solo: Disclaimer: JC doesn't own Gundam Wing, Ah, My Goddess, Tenchi Muyo!, Sailor Moon S, Digimon Adventure 02, or any other of the characters used in this fic! They are all property of their respected companies, sadly…  
  
JC: That's the saddest part. None of them belong to me…  
  
@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x  
  
"You are SO insensitive!" Duo Maxwell complained to his lover.  
  
"Hn." Heero Yuy grunted and continued to tap on his laptop.  
  
"You're anti-social™, you have NO personality, you have no…" Duo continued to rant on about what Heero wasn't. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were just using me for mind-blowing-sex™!"  
  
"…" Heero stopped typing.  
  
"Oh, now you respond!" Duo snorted. "Well, if that's what you want me for Heero Yuy, you can forget it! I'm leaving!" the braided boy threw his hands up and turned to leave.  
  
"Hn." Heero's hand clamped down on Duo's shoulder.  
  
"Forget it Heero, if you …" Duo gasped as he was spun around and kissed by the Japanese pilot.  
  
"Baka. I like mind-blowing-sex™, but…" He struggled for the words.  
  
"But what?" Duo pouted, sticking out his lower lip.  
  
"But I… like you… even more." Heero mumbled.  
  
"Excuse me?" Duo put a hand to his ear. "I didn't catch that."  
  
"Ilikeyoumorethansex." Heero whispered.  
  
"Can you repeat that?" Duo made gestures like he was cleaning out his ear.  
  
"Ilikeyoumorethansex." Heero said softly.  
  
"Once more, I still can't hear you." Duo tapped his foot.  
  
"DAMMIT! I LOVE YOU DUO!" Heero yelled.  
  
"Why thank you! I love you too!" Duo hugged the other boy back and nipped his ear playfully.  
  
"Hn." Heero sighed happily as Duo began to remove his clothes and…  
  
The next day…  
  
"YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE!" rang through the house.  
  
"Duo!" Heero grabbed his angry lover and gently shook him. "What's the matter this time?"  
  
"The usual…" Duo turned away.  
  
"Well, what can I do?" Heero asked.  
  
"Do things a normal lover would do." Duo said simply.  
  
"And how will I do that? I have a mission report to type." Heero put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Screw the report! You are going to see how OTHER people treat their lovers! Then you'll understand what's wrong!" Duo grabbed Heero, his clothes, and went out the door.  
  
Later…  
  
"I don't understand. What does this place have to do with me becoming a better lover?" Heero looked around at the fast food place they were in.  
  
"This is the 'in' place to be for couples!" Duo stuffed his mouth with some ramen.  
  
"Why is this place on the 'in' list?" Heero poked at his noodles, which were more like cabbage mush.  
  
"Well you don't know anything!" Duo said with his mouth full. "Beef Bowl places are very popular! Just look around you!" he gestured at all the couples and pairs of people in the restaurant eating happily.  
  
"…" was Heero's response.  
  
"Ano… can we borrow this chair." A handsome looking blonde guy came up to them.  
  
"Sure." Duo nudged Heero who pulled the chair out.  
  
"Thanks." The guy said, and turned showing off his profile and a protruding chest.  
  
"Duo… that was a girl." Heero whispered.  
  
"Wow." Duo said through a mouthful of gyoza as they watched the girl join a very beautiful green haired girl at another table. The blonde girl pulled the chair out, and the green-haired one gracefully sat down.  
  
"Now, that is how you should behave." Duo poked Heero with his chopsticks.  
  
"But I'm not a…" Heero started.  
  
"It doesn't matter. You have to be courteous to ME! You are never courteous to me except in bed." Duo glared and blew bubbles in his soft drink.  
  
"Hn. Courteous." Heero watched as the two girls giggled and shared a soda out of the same glass.  
  
"Look at those two." Duo gestured at another couple, a boy and a very beautiful girl who were sharing some extra spicy meat kabobs.  
  
"Belldandy… I… I… " the boy gasped as his face turned red.  
  
"Keichi!" the girl, Belldandy cried and a can of ice cold water appeared in her hands, which she doused her boyfriend with.  
  
"Thank you." Keichi sighed.  
  
"Oh, I'll fix it." Belldandy waved her hand, and Keichi was dry.  
  
"You see? Courteous, kind… magic powers?" Duo sweatdropped as a boy walked in… followed by seven women, all trying to glomp him.  
  
"Tenchi is mine!" a girl shouted.  
  
"KISAMA! HE'S MINE!" another screamed.  
  
"All of you are being ridiculous. Tenchi is mine!" a third screeched.  
  
"…" Heero stared at the group.  
  
"Do NOT do that Hee-chan." Duo muttered.  
  
"Hn." Was all Heero could say.  
  
The door swung open and a man walked in, hanging on his arm were a fifteen-year-old girl and a ten-year-old kid.  
  
"Chibiusa! Leave me alone! I'm on a date with Mamo-chan!" The older girl with the odango hair screamed.  
  
"He's MY MAMO-CHAN!" The little girl, Chibiusa screamed back.  
  
"Odango atama…" The blonde girl from before stood up.  
  
"Haruka-san! Michiru-san!" 'Odango' ran over, followed by her boyfriend and daughter.  
  
"That's why I don't wanna have kids." Duo nudged Heero.  
  
"Baka. You can't get pregnant anyway." Heero sipped some tea.  
  
"Oh yeah, that's right. Only chicks get knocked up." The braided boy shrugged.  
  
The door opened again, and this time, Quatre and Trowa walked in. The two didn't see Heero and Duo as they squeezed into one of those small booths in the corner. Following them was a boy with big hair and goggles, accompanied by a tall, lanky, blonde whose hair fell over one eye.  
  
"Man Taichi, I can't believe you!" the blonde groaned at the other boy. "This is the surprise?"  
  
"But Yama-chan, I thought you liked beef bowl places!" Taichi whined.  
  
"You mean you like beef bowl places!" Yamato put his hands on his hips and sighed. "All right, you win, oh sexy man of mine. Let's sit down."  
  
"Isn't that the lead singer for the Teenage Wolves?" Duo wondered aloud.  
  
"Hn. He has a nice ass." Heero folded his napkin and stood up.  
  
"Where are you going?" the braided boy questioned.  
  
"Autograph." Heero said and walked over to the blonde.  
  
"Never figured you to be the type." Duo smirked as he watched Heero approach Yamato. 'Maybe there's hope yet.'  
  
So, after lunch…  
  
"So, Heero? Learn anything?" Duo asked as he bounced alongside his lover.  
  
"Hn. Lots." Heero said, tucking the autographed guitar pick into his back pocket.  
  
"You wouldn't be dumping me for Ishida Yamato would you? If so, I'll beat you to the punch." Duo glared at the other boy.  
  
"Hn. Baka. Like I would pass you up for him." Heero leaned forward and whispered seductively into Duo's ear. "Besides… I find death arousing."  
  
And with that, Heero Yuy pulled his boyfriend's arm, and practically dragged him to the apartment.  
  
SQUEAK!  
  
That evening…  
  
Duo awoke in the bed to find Heero gone. The last of the sunset had already disappeared over the horizon, and the room was dark. The braided boy fumbled for the light switch, only when he touched it, someone turned it on. And Duo Maxwell found himself face-to-face with the probably most goddamn sexy person on the planet™.  
  
"EEP! Heero, you startled me." Duo blinked. "What in the world are you wearing?"  
  
Heero stood up to his full height, showing off the tight fitting dress-shirt and dark jacket that clung to him like a second skin. The pants were no exception. The sight nearly gave Duo a nosebleed.  
  
"Dammit!" Duo cursed.  
  
"Is something wrong Duo?" Heero glared.  
  
"No, not you… I just lost a bet with Relena." Duo giggled.  
  
"What bet?" Heero said suspiciously.  
  
"Oh, just this little thing that's been going on for a while." Duo laughed. "I bet that you wouldn't wear anything other than spandex and street clothes willingly. And she told me that I was wrong. And well… GOD YOU'RE SEXY!"  
  
"Baka." Heero pulled Duo close, who by the way was still naked. "What did she win?"  
  
His answer was given to him when he heard a small click and a quick flash.  
  
"A digital picture." Duo grinned. "And if I won, she had to go make out with Dorothy for five minutes in public."  
  
"Omae o…" Heero sputtered.  
  
"I know you find death arousing… but let's go out." Duo turned and stepped into a closet.  
  
"Oh no. You aren't getting off that easy!" Heero dove into the closet after Duo.  
  
Later…  
  
"Heero… I'm sorry I complained earlier… I hope that our little day didn't spoil you." Duo whispered softly.  
  
"No Duo. I learned a lot of new things yesterday… some I will keep, some I will let go… and some… I will use on you right now!" Heero pounced on Duo.  
  
"Ow! HEY! AAAHHH… who taught you that? OOO… It was Yamato, wasn't it? Oaaahhhhh!!! HEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
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JC: So, please R&R!!!  
  
Solo: JC loves feedback.  
  
JC: I do, I do!  
  
ZSQ: ESPECIALLY IF ITS ABOUT ME! WHAHAHAHAHAHA! TODAY FANMAIL, TOMORROW, CHOCOLATE PUDDING™!  
  
JC: Tomorrow, it's the loony bin™ for you. 


End file.
